Six Flags over Clinton Portis

Some of you know this, but in case you weren’t aware, I am a complete roller coaster fanatic. After getting past all the big events at the start of the new year — Super Bowl, ACC & NCAA hoops tournaments, DCLX, etc. — I start planning my big theme park road trips for the year. Nothing gets me going during the spring like the thought of climbing into a ride like Apollo’s Chariot, plummeting down that first 70-yard hill and feeling the airtime at the top of the next one.

Which reminds me — I haven’t been to Busch Gardens Williamsburg in a while. I’ll be there sometime in May.

What does any of this have to do with football? Well, as it turns out, Washington Redskins owner Dan Snyder likes roller coasters, too. His investment group, Red Zone LLC (ha ha), has assumed control of Six Flags Incorporated.

I hope Snyder will do a better job of improving Six Flags’ theme parks than he has of improving the Redskins this decade. I’ve been to two smaller Six Flags parks in the last three years, and both of ’em were laid out poorly and lacked decent ride management. I would like to get to Magic Mountain in Cali one day, just to ride Xand Goliath, but the other parks hold little interest for me, especially when there’s a nifty flying coaster only 150 miles away.

Snyder’s planning on being chairman of the new Six Flags management group and bringing in former ESPN honcho Mark Shapiro as CEO. There is no truth to the rumor, however, that park security will be overseen by Sheriff Gonna Getcha, or that a ride is being planned that plots the career arc of Timmy Smith.

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