Dr. Shortt indicted, Sauerbrun drowns sorrows in gravy

From this AP report:

A doctor who was accused in a television report of writing illegal steroid prescriptions for three former Carolina Panthers players has been indicted on federal charges.

James M. Shortt was charged with 29 counts of distributing steroids and human growth hormones as well as a conspiracy charge, U.S. Attorney Johnny Gasser said Wednesday. The indictment did not specify who received the drugs.

A CBS News report in March identified center Jeff Mitchell, tackle Todd Steussie and punter Todd Sauerbrun as having filled steroid prescriptions written by Shortt. Several other former Panthers have also been named as Shortt’s patients in subsequent media reports.

You will recall that Sauerbrun, who was dealt to the Denver Broncos during the offseason, was asked about Shortt and said, “I like the guy very much.” Then, ten minutes later, he called that reporter back and said, “Dude, we got our communications confused…. I don’t know this guy.”

Right. I guess all that meat loaf affects your hearing, too. After all, how confusing is a question like, “Do you know a Dr. James Shortt?” Was there static on his Bluetooth headset? And if so, why not ask them to repeat the question?

*fuzz*garble*know a Doct*garble*pop*fuzz*ort?”

“Oh, yeah, I know him. I like the guy very much.”

So it’s all Motorola’s fault that Sauerbrun got so confused. Right. It must explain why he has this new policy of not talking to the media. Mark Twain said it best: “It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.” What a shame Sauerbrun didn’t follow that advice last year…

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